Yanditswe Monday , Tariki, 26 December 2016. saa 11:00:00 na Christophe Hitayezu

Mu buzima bwa kiremwa muntu, buri wese akunda gukundwa no gukunda gusa hari ibiba bibanza kwibazwa bikanitonderwa urukundo ni iki, ni iyi he mpamvu nkwiriye gukunda nkanakundwa, ese urukundo mugenzi wanjye ampa rurankwiriye, ese rurahagije, urukundo ruhagije ruba rungana rute, ese abakundana bakwiye kumarana umwanya ungana iki baganira, ese ni iki cyazambya urukundo, ese ni hehe cyangwa ni nde nabwira ibyacu, amakimbirane mu rukundo akemurwa na nde, akemurirwa he, ni ryari nzumva ko nyuzwe n’urukundo nk’ikivi nushije.

Aha ngaho turibanda ku rukundo rwo hagati y’umuhungu n’umukobwa biganisha ku gushing urugo turebere hamwe bintu bidakunze guhabwa agaciro, gusa bisenya umubano.

Kudaha umwanya uhagije uwo mukundana
Ubundi urukundo ni urw’abantu babibiri rutangirira mu magambo rugakomereza mu bikorwa, iyo rutangiye gupfira mu magambo, mu biganiro mugirana iyo bigeze mu bikorwa ruba ibishishwa.

Mu rukundo abakundana cyangwa abashakanye bagomba gukora uko bashoboye bagahana umwanya ufatika kuko iyo bitagenze bityo baba nk’abari kubakira ku musenyi, ni ho kwa kwizerana gukendera kuko umwe aba avuga ko arutwa n’ibintu runaka mugenzi we aha umwanya cyangwa se awihera abandi, ibi bituma abantu bahuzwa no gucyocyorana no kuninurana bityo bikabaganisha gusenya aho gukomeza kubaka ibiramba.

Guhora ushaka inzitwazo zidafatika zituma mutagirana ibihe byiza
Mu rukundo buri wese aba ashaka kumva anezerewe bidasanzwe kandi akumva ko yagenda yisanga yisanzurana n’umukunzi we, gusa hari ikijya kiba nyirabayazana w’ubushyamirane, ugasanga umwe muri bo arahora atanga urwitwazo ruhoraho, ibi bibabaza mugenzi we bigatuma atangira kubihirwa no kugira ibihe bitamworoheye.

Mu rukundo rero abantu bakwiye kwitonda bakiga kwitangira umunezero wabo baba intwari mu rukundo kabone n’ubwo byaba ari ibihe bitakoroheye, ntubigire karande kuko byatuma mugenzi wawe atangira kukubona ukundi no kugenda akuzinukwa cyane ko aba abona urimo kumusenya aho kumwubaka.

Guhora umugereranya n’uwo mwahoze mukundana
Mu rukundo, umuntu aba agomba kwiga gufata umwanzuro utari urwiganwa cyangwa kwihorera ku wo bahoze bari kumwe, iyo umuntu atandukanye n’uwo bakundanaga aba agomba kurekura akiga kubaho atamufite, icyo gihe iyo abonye andi mahirwe biramworohera kuko abona uko yubahana kandi agaha umwanya umunezero mushya aho guhora abunza imitima asembera ku byamusize.

Iyo ukundana n’umuntu warabanje gukunda ho mbere, iyo utazi gufata icyemezo uhora uhuzagurika ufite amakenga ko n’undi yakwigendera cyangwa yakubabaza nka mbere, iryo gereranya rituma nta munezero wisanzuye ugira mu rukundo rushya, ukaremerera mugenzi wawe. Hari ubwo udasenya kamere mwagiranaga, uko mwari mubanye ukumva umukunzi mushya ntazi ibigezweho,atazi gukunda ugahora wumva ko wacikanywe bityo ugakomeza kuba mu rungabangabo, mugenzi wawe agenda ashaka uko yakuramo ake karenge, ugahora uzerera ku musozi w’urukundo udashinga imizi.

Kumva ko wafatishije

Urukundo warugereranya n’ubusitani cyangwa inzira yuzuyemo imbuto zuje ubwuzu zitera umunezero zikikijwe n’indabo nziza zifite impumuro idasanzwe kandi mu buryo butandukanye, usarura agomba gufata igihe cye kirambye, akaryoherwa na buri rubuto kandi agahumurirwa na buri rurabo, rero murumva ko bifata igihe,

Mu muntu habamo ubwihisho bw’ibyishimo butandukanye utahita ugeraho mu myaka 100 ikiremwa muntu gisigaye nibura kigira,

Iyo abantu bakundana guteretana ntibikwiye kuba amareshyamugeni atamutunga cyangwa ngo urukundo rwuje umunezero no guteteshanya birangirire mu ijoro ry’ubukwe, mu kwezi kwa buki se cyangwa ku mbyaro runaka, iyo umwe mu bakundana yumvise ko azarekeraho gusangira ibyishimo na mugenzi we mu gihe runaka aba arimo aganisha ku irimbukiro ry’urukundo cyangwa urugo rwe kuko icyo gihe agenda agabanya uko yakundaga mugenzi we bityo ugasanga umwe muri bo atangiye gukeka ko yibeshye kuri mugenzi we cyangwa atari ryo geno rye agatangira gutekereza ahandi yakomereza ibyishimo bye, ni ho bamwe batangira guhurira gusigana no kwambikana icyasha, bagacagagurana kugeza baciye umubano, nta gihe runaka ukunda yakwibwiye ko yafatishije, ahubwo uburyohe bw’urukundo ubwumva neza iyo utekereje ukuntu wajya uremera udushya mu rukundo rwawe n’urugo rwawe rugatera imbere rugasugira rugasagamba.

Kurogoya ibiganiro byanyu

Mu rukundo ni ngombwa kuganira abantu bitonze cyane cyane iyo abakundana bashyizweyo, buri umwe atangaho umugabo isi n’ijuru ko yamuremewe, bizerana bahuje, iki gihe cy’agahebuzo buri umwe agomba kwirinda ibyabarogoya, iyo umuntu ashigagurika ajya mu tuntu tw’irya n’ino, usanga mugenzi we ashaririwe, hakavuka ukwivumbura kwa hato na hato, iki gihe abakundana baba bagomba kubiganira ho bakarimbura kidobya bitabaye ibyo urukundo rwabo ruba nk’urwa wa muriro w’inyoni irwaje indi bagatandukana cyangwa bagasenyerwa n’impamvu bitaga ko idashinga.

Kwereka amarangamutima abandi

Mu rukundo, abakundana buri umwe aba yumva agomba gufatwa nk’ikibasumba, ntawe wamumurutira ku isi yose. Buri umwe aba agomba guharanira kuzamura ibendera ry’icyubahiro n’isumbwe by’umukunzi we, yemwe bagera mu bantu agaterwa ishema no kumwerekana mu ruhando rw’inshuti, abaratira rudasumbwa, yaba ari umusore akabamurikira nyampinga we. Iyo rero mugendana ugatangira kurangarira abandi n’ubwuzu bwinshi mwaganira ukabasimbagiza mu bisingizo, ibi ni nk’inkota uba urimo gusogota mugenzi wawe, atangira kumva acitse umugongo, ubwenge bukayoba akicuza igihe yagutaye ho arashya ngo akunde akunezeze, bimutera ipfunwe kongera guhura na ba bantu, ndetse bikamubera nk’ihungabana akumva ntaho mwajyana mu bantu benshi kuko aba azi ko uri buhakore amabara uraranganya amaso ushaka uwo uvuga neza, ibi bifatwa nko kutanyurwa no kujarajara bikabangiriza urukundo.

Gusebanya

Mu isi ntabwo abantu bose ari abere n’abamarayika kuko buri wese umushunguye wamusangana inkumbi, n’ubwo bimeze bityo singombwa gutaramana no kuvuga ibyo wiboneye ku mukunzi wawe kuko abifata nko kumusebya, bimurera agahinda iyo abyumvise, agahinda umushyitsi mu mutima yemwe akaba yanakoreshwa n’umujinya akakubwira amagambo adakwiye abakundana, biba byiza iyo hari ikitagenda ukizanye mu nteko y’urukundo/urugo rwa babiri mu kakiganiraho yemwe na biriya byavuzwe haruguru iyo byabaye bigashakirwa umuti nta gusebanya ku musozi, kuko akenshi abantu bahura bitunguranye gusa gukundana birambye ni amahitamo ya babiri.

Iyo umwe atangiye isebanya ntanace bugufi ngo asabe imbabazi mugenzi we akimika inarige no kwihagararaho birangira urugo cyangwa urukundo ruhirimye maze rubanda ikabaca urwaho ikabota.

Kwigira ntibindeba

 Mu rukundo buri umwe aba agomba gukina umwanya we uko bikwiye, agapira ntakarekere mugenzi we, bagasenyera umugozi umwe, buri wese azana umusanzi we. Iyo hari amakimbirane bagasasa inzobe buri wese avuga uko abyumva aho guhirikira aho bibogamiye, ukumva ko niba atakuvugishije wicecekera ugategereza ko akoma rutenderi, haba no mu biganiro buri wese aba agomba kuzana icyaganirwaho, agaharanira kuba isoko y’umunezero yamugenzi we.

Naho iyo wumva ko umubano wanyu/urukundo hari uwo bireba wowe yanatinda kuguhamagara, kuguha ubutumwa, kukuvugisha no kukwibutsa urakara ugatangira kumwijundika, bituma hari ubwo acika intege akumva ko nta cyo umumariye mu buzima abaye ho mu buzima bwa nyakamwe, ibi birasenya ntibyubaka.

Igorora Iritararenga Dieudonne/NONAHA.com